was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
