What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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