@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
