I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
