i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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