I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize