Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
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I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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