...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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