Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize