you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
