Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize