we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
