I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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