So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
