They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
