just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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