I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My hand turned me down
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize