What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
