Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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