Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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