pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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