i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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