ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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