My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
