Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
