He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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