Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
