one two three fourrrrnication!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize