Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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