How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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