Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
