I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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