I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
