after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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