drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize