It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize