Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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