so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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