I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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