dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
