whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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