Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
