Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
