you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
