My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm both gender and math confused
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
