found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
