i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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