shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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