Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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