In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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