alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
