I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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