I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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