Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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