Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
