This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
