i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
