So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
