we're blogging at a bar
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
